A Ferry Tale Flop
It is 1 AM in Reykjavik, and although my body still thinks it is just 9 PM, I have managed to sleep for a couple of hours already—that is, until my 5-year-old suddenly taps my arm. Why is he up at 1 AM when he was so exhausted by bedtime that his eyes were drooping? His comforter fell on the ground, and he needs help pulling it back on the bed. Around an hour later, I am just starting to drift back to sleep, when he appears in our bedroom again. This time, he says he had a bad dream. The next morning, the bags under my eyes are a little more pronounced, and I may be yawning more than normal as we stand in line for our cruise check-in, but I am also counting my blessings that I got any sleep at all.
Vacation and Sleep Deprivation
I have certainly had worse nights of sleep on vacation with our kids (like that time our 11-month-old refused to sleep in the hotel crib at Virginia Beach and screamed for half the night). Losing any sleep can make traveling downright miserable or even dangerous (we have driven jetlagged in foreign countries a few times, and it is not something we recommend). I’m not going to pull punches. The hard truth of travel with kids is that sleep loss is inevitable. Our kids generally sleep best when we are home, and I don’t think that they are an exception to the rule.
But we aren’t here to just drop that lovely little downer and leave. We have been in desperate situations where we would try any wild hack to get some much-needed shut-eye. So, if you are in equally dire straits, we get you, and we’ve got your back. There are some steps you can take to help kids sleep in unfamiliar locations.
Tip #1: Research Lodging Facilities and Prepare Accordingly
When searching vacation rental properties, consider the bed layout and if it will work for your kids. Obviously, the first goal is to make sure there are enough beds for everyone. However, things can get a little trickier with babies and toddlers still sleeping in cribs. Many vacation rental properties do not have Pack ‘n Plays available. You can add a crib to your search filter to guarantee that you stay in a place with one.
Trail Tip: Unlike strollers and car seats, portable cribs or play yards still count towards the checked bag allowance on flights. So, it is crucial to either choose an accommodation with a crib or plan checked bags accordingly.
If staying at a hotel, check with them on reserving a crib or Pack ‘n Play as soon as possible. Most hotels have cribs in a limited quantity, but because they do not guarantee one upon arrival if they run out, I recommend making a note in the “special requests” box in the reservation and sending a follow-up email or call the day before to confirm the request and check on availability.
Bringing your own sheets is a good idea for hotel cribs. Hotels do not always provide fitted crib sheets. If you want to ensure that you bring one that will fit properly, you could check on the size details via email.
Tip #2: Have a Backup Plan
A backup plan is a good idea. We traveled with a portable sleep nest until our babies outgrew them (a travel bassinet or portable play yard would be great backup options as well). Renting a crib may also be a possibility for a fee in some cities through a rental service.
We once stayed in a house without an available crib. We realized after booking that one wasn’t available, but instead of cancelling and finding a new property, we decided it would be easier to buy a cheap version at the nearest Walmart. Although we wouldn’t recommend doing this for every trip because that cost would rack up quickly, it might be a viable option in a pinch (if you are near civilization in the US at least).
Tip #3: Be Flexible
Flexible Sleeping Arrangements
Our boys currently sleep in their own rooms, but we are rarely afforded that luxury when we travel. Normally, they room together on a trip, and we try to stay flexible with the type of sleeping arrangements. We have put our kids in twin beds, bunk beds, a shared queen bed, a pull-out sofa bed, and an air mattress. Whatever was available—we tried to make it work. This has certainly gotten easier with time as the boys have grown and gotten used to trying new sleeping arrangements. So, it’s important to find balance between meeting your family’s needs and being flexible.
Flexible Nap Schedules
While we tried to stick to normal bedtime whenever possible, we have always been flexible with nap schedules when we travel with our kids. This is a choice we make to ensure that we see more of a destination, rather than going back to the hotel or Airbnb in the afternoon.
For our kids, nap times on vacation are normally shorter than at home. Because we are often on the go during the day while traveling, nap time might be in the car or on a plane or in a stroller. And our kids simply do not sleep as long in these locations as they would their own beds. But we are okay with that because (for our kids at least) short naps ensure that they are sufficiently tuckered out by night.
However, every child is different. If your child needs a solid afternoon nap in a bed to save everyone’s sanity, by all means, do that.
Tip #4: Make It Feel Like Home
Comfort Objects
Whenever we have the space, we bring a small blanket and stuffed animal when we travel with our kids. It gives them a piece of home to get them comfortable with a different environment.
Dark Space
If your child is used to a dark room for naps or bedtime, you may want to consider some accommodations to help them sleep in lodging that lacks blackout curtains. I once read a post from a mom who brought dark sheets everywhere to make her own blackout curtains. Alternatively, I have also seen suggestions to just bring some black trash bags and painter’s tape. 😉 An easier fix for hotel curtains that let in big gaps of light is to secure them together with chip clips or safety pins. In some hotel rooms where the light in the hallway was bright, we use the rolled towel hack to block light seeping through gaps under the door.
Separate Space
Not long ago, Airbnb made an advertisement about one of the most difficult parts of staying in a hotel with kids: having to share a bedtime with them. Of course, we don’t actually go to sleep at the same time as our kids when staying in a hotel. But we typically turn off the TV and all the lights and silently scroll our phones or read while waiting for the kids to fall asleep. On the other hand, in a vacation rental, we are able to put the kids to bed in their own room and have a bit of kid-free time as we would at home.
However, sometimes hotel stays are the best or only option. We found that moving our babies/toddlers in cribs further away from us would help them settle and sleep better. A suite would be ideal for this, but we even put the crib in the bathroom (after we got ready for bed ourselves). Let me tell you, that worked wonders. It was like being in their own room. It meant an earlier bedtime routine for us, but it was worth it to increase the quantity and quality of their sleep.
Another, albeit more expensive, option to help your child feel like they are in their own space and ensure that it stays dark, is a blackout sleeping tent or pod. Many blackout tents are made to fit over a crib or Pack ‘n Play. Heads up: most of them cost upwards of $100.
Tip #5: Crank up the Sound Machine
Bring a sound machine or have a white noise app ready to go on your phone. On our first trip to visit family with our first kid, I didn’t pack the sound machine. It was a big mistake. It was like our 1-month-old heard every creaking floorboard and door hinge. I ended up using YouTube for rain sounds, but then I couldn’t use my phone for other applications.
We take a sound machine everywhere we travel with our kids now. Hotels have so much background noise in the hallways and surrounding rooms that white noise is essential for masking it and helping our kids sleep through the disruptive sounds. And if you are traveling with other family members in a vacation rental, it can be helpful to have ambient noise in the bedroom so that the adults can have conversations elsewhere without waking baby. We personally prefer a physical sound machine to a white noise app on our phones especially for situations when kids are staying in a separate bedroom.
Tip #6: Maintain a Consistent Sleep Routine
For many years, researchers have noted the benefits of a bedtime routine for kids. But after a long day touristing with your little ones, sometimes you may be so tired yourself that you just wish your kids would brush their own teeth, hop into bed, and clock out immediately (a mom can dream, right?). But the effort of getting through the bedtime routine is worth it. Sticking to their home bed routine can provide kids with a sense of familiarity and security that can help them feel comfortable enough to sleep in a strange place. Whether you usually give your kid a bath, read a book, sing a song, say a prayer, or all of the above before bed, try to replicate it on vacation to the best of your ability.
Tip #7: Get on a New Time Zone Immediately
It takes an average of 1 day per time zone to adjust to a time difference. The more time zones you cross, the longer it will take to acclimate. Jet lag is already rough as is for adults, but adding some jet lagged kiddos into the mix can be trying both physically and emotionally. Get on a new time zone as soon as possible, especially if you will be there for a week or more.
How to Help Kids (and Yourself) Adapt to Time Changes
Exposure to daylight helps regulate circadian rhythms. Low light exposure also affects the release of melatonin. Experts generally suggest that the best way to adjust to a time change is to get outside as much as possible during the day.
One thing that we try to enforce with our kids when adjusting to a time zone change is to limit nap time to get them on schedule. If we let them, our kids would take 3-hour naps while adjusting to a time change. However, our kids never take 3-hour naps anymore on their regular routine (not since they were babies). They have trouble falling asleep at night if they have slept more than an hour during the day. So, even though they may be feeling extra tired from a time zone difference, we will wake them up from long naps to avoid oversleeping during the day.
The goal is to get them to sleep well at night. Yes, this means we are typically dragging by the end of the first day or two for a significant time change. But the faster we get on local time, the more we can enjoy the destination.
Although staying hydrated is always important, it is especially key for fighting jet lag. Make sure you and your kids drink plenty on your flight and after arrival or jet lag symptoms could become more severe.
Tip #8: Adjust Your Expectations
I said it at the beginning, and I’ll say it again: sleep loss is inevitable when it comes to travel with kids. It is incredibly important to adjust your expectations from the norm at home. Instead, expect that more of their sleep time while traveling will be an exception to the rule. In other words, anticipate less normal sleep time overall. Keep the bar low. Maybe they will surprise you and do better than you expected, but I am a big believer that it is better to be pleasantly surprised than sorely disappointed.
I always expect an adjustment period the first night or two in a new location. Even when visiting family in the same time zone, our kids wake more the first night or two than they would normally at home.
It may be wise to prepare for more sleep interruptions by adding some downtime into your itinerary. It is hard to keep going on a packed schedule when you are running on fumes. I tend to err in this area and will pack in as much as possible to an itinerary with no room for setbacks. If you want to ensure a few days to catch up on rest, be smarter than me, and plan them in.
Is It Worth the Effort?
There is no foolproof plan to guarantee that your child gets a solid night’s sleep every night on vacation. You can try all of the above tips, and you may still experience some rough nights like the ones I described in the introduction. However, having a plan and doing everything possible to help them sleep in new locations may still improve your outcomes. Even a slim chance of more sleep is worth the effort compared with doing nothing to prevent sleep loss.
We hope these tips help your sweet little travelers sleep better. But even on those long nights where sleep is elusive, we want you to know that we have been there too. And travel with our kids has always been worth every sleepless night and bleary-eyed morning. So keep on trying, keep on going, and keep on exploring.
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